Buying a home is a super exciting time, especially when you’ll be living with someone you care about. What’s not so exciting though? Arguing about buying a home. So we’re listing out five crucial things unmarried couples buying a house should know before they take that leap.
From managing each other’s expectations to compromising, our guide will help prepare you for the next step. But before we dive in, here’s a quick rundown of the legal stuff involved with joint ownership.
Shared Decisions Matter: Embarking on a joint property venture? For couples navigating the home buying journey, our detailed guide on buying a home as a couple provides invaluable insights.
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- An Australian First Home Buyers Guide for Under 30s
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- 7 Questions You Must Ask When Buying a Property
Can my partner and I buy a home together if we’re unmarried?
The answer is yes. There are a few things you’d have to iron out first, of course, like ownership structure–whether you’re tenants in common or joint tenants.
Then after you decide on the home you want to buy together, you have to figure out your finances and the eventual loan agreement. Will it be a co-borrowing process?
You can read more about this in our guide to joint ownership.
How to reduce stress as an unmarried couple buying a house
Be clear about both your expectations
Even the closest, tightest couples have expectations about each other that are perhaps unsaid. When it comes to couples buying property, the process can unveil hidden stress points and problems that might not have been there before.
The decision is financial one and arguably the largest one you’ll make in your life. Many individuals have a pre-conceived idea of what their dream home looks like and everyone has different amounts in their savings account. The most important aspect is respecting each other.
Donna R. Baptiste, a professor at Northwestern University’s Family Institute and licensed therapist, says “two people must respect each other’s right to have a say”, so it’s crucial to listen to your partner, as well as be honest with your own concerns.
A good way to kick off the discussion on joint ownership is with questions like:
- Why have we decided to buy a home?
- What’s the most important part of our decision? Finances? Living together?
- How long do we plan on living there?
- Do we want to buy a ready to move in property? Or a fixer-upper?
- What’s our budget?
Be willing to compromise
Donna R. Baptiste continues to say that “equal say is not always the standard.” This means that you won’t always agree on everything and someone might have to back down.
The key here is to be willing to compromise and not just say no. Allowing your partner a little more control at times allows the decision on buying a home to be a shared one.
Assess how your routines will be affected
New homes have a way of changing life’s routines. When it comes to new homes, a lot can change—your commute to work, your job, who takes the dog out, the chore allocation… Baptiste says it’s important to think about your lifestyle and how your home can fit into it, not the other way around.
Have a good, hard think about what living in that property or suburb would look like everyday. How will it affect your routines as individuals and as a couple?
The more time you spend going planning out daily scenarios, the more settled you’ll feel after the move.
Speak to an expert
When you speak to a professional or expert, that’s sort of when the say is final. For instance, if you and partner disagree on something, consulting a professional can clarify it and help you finalise the decision.
The best real estate agents are knowledgable and trustworthy. They’ll have your best interest in mind which means they’ll favour your happiness over making a deal. From breaking down every step of the home buying process to advising on the property market and home inspections, your agent will assist you along the way. Which is why many opt for a buyer’s agent to smooth out the experience.
On top of that, they take off some of the pressure on unmarried couples buying a house. Since you have someone to manage that aspect and burden of the search, you’re less likely to turn on each other when the situation is less than favourable.
Many couples have shared that involving a real estate agent in their home-buying process has had a positive impact on their relationship as well. They may act as a mediator of sorts, allowing the couple to grow and learn together.
Get yourselves organised
One of the crucial steps in unmarried couples buying a home together is to get your ducks in a row by talking about your finances.
For instance, speaking to a mortgage expert about home loans. They can advise on what needs to be paid off and what kinds of payments to expect down the road.
You will also want to get honest with each other about your credit scores and debt. Depending on your situation, this might help or hamper the home loan application. Even if it’s been a private matter in the past, lenders will focus more on the lower scoring partner or the partner with more debt. This is a good opportunity to work together to improve your credit together.
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